So I signed up today for ORLANDO! It's 9 months away but I am so excited. Since the boys came two years ago I've only spent one night away from them to hang out with some college friends. Matthew spent the few days leading up to my departure telling me he couldn't wait for me to go and he hoped I didn't return. Well when I finally starting to relax and enjoy myself, I get a phone call in the middle of dinner. Matthew had gone to take a shower and while in there decided to take the caregivers razor and shave a chunk out of his head. She sent me a pic, there he is blood streaming down his forehead, a patch of hair missing, and a smile as big as the moon! I start balling at the table. My dear friends, who just don't get "it", look at me like I'm crazy! "Not a big deal" they say "kids cut their hair all the time" they say. I tried to explain, "You don't understand, he did this on purpose to ruin my trip". Horrified stares in my direction. "You see he's out to get me he wants to ruin my life!". Horrified stares continue. "he's just buying enough time till he's strong enough to overpower me and kill me!!!!!". Ok I'll admit at this point I was getting slightly hysterical but the point was my evening was then ruined. I was worried about the caregiver ( there's no bedroom alarms there, I should have gotten her a bedroom alarm!). I was stressed about the dysregulation that would occur when I got home, the whole 9 yards.
We've come along way since then......but I haven't left him overnight since. I need Orlando! I need people who get it! People who don't think I'm an awful mother or exaggerating or being hysterical. People who won't tell me that if I just prayed hard enough or loved him more it would all magically get better!
Thank you ladies, I can't wait!