Updates

Over the summer James was finally evaluated by our local mental health agency, they gave him an ADHD diagnosis officially but admitted that there is certainly a trauma and attachment piece underlying his behavior issues.  The next step was to determine what services he would receive.  My biggest concern was school.  He was going to be starting preschool, 5 days a week in the morning.  This is our last year before he enters kindergarten and I am really trying to get as much of this under control as possible this year so he can have a successful start to his education....yeah I know, but I can dream cant I?  Anyway, my main concern and desire was to get him started on medication.  Never in a million years would I have imagined I would be that parent desperately trying to convince the professionals to put my 4 year old kid on meds.  He needs them, desperately, and given everything we went through with Matthew spending 2 years going through dozens of medications and even more combinations and dosages of those medications, I want to get this right before James starts Kindergarten.  SO, the only way that they would consider meds is if he was receiving in home services....you know those services that were a waste of time with Matthew, the ones we were finally discharged from mere weeks earlier....yep, those ones!  So much for a rest from people in and out of my home offering a million suggestions that have already failed or are outright contrary to all leading experts in the field of trauma and attachment.  Folks, these kids CANNOT be parented, counseled, taught like a "normal" kid and doing so just puts you farther behind....I've already been there and done that with one kid, this is not my first rodeo.  Regardless, I agreed to the services and so far the BHRS and Mobile Therapist are nice enough and certainly better than the last pair we had.  After the last few months the BHRS is definitely starting to not only see James for who he is but is making the connections that that his behaviors are attachment based.  She even said to me today, "You know I notice that James doesn't really seem to have a good grasp on emotions and feelings,  like he is missing the empathy piece."  BINGO lady and it is pretty hard to discipline, consequence, or help form cause and effect thinking with someone who has no desire to please others or understanding how they effect others.  She also feels medication is the only way we are going to have a chance to get his brain to slow down enough to try and get through to him....6 days...not that I'm counting or anything :)  6 days till our medication appointment which brings a whole different set of stressers with insurance approvals and prior authorizations and overrides...ugh!  I know what medication I want to start with, Intuniv, it was literally a lifesaver for Matthew and our family.  I don't know that he would have safely been able to remain in our home if we hadn't found that medication after 2 years of rages, door alarms, fires, and violence.  It was like a switch that allowed the healing to begin.  I want to start there, but I know the insurance wont.  It took us 6 months after we moved to get the new insurance to approve it for Matthew, and that was with clear documentation of everything we had tried and the positive effect the medication had had on him prior to moving.  Fingers crossed the psych will listen to me and the insurance will approve without hassle.